Sunday, February 6, 2011

What am I worth?

There's a pretty huge question? The weird part is, I guess that are a lot of ways to measure it.... what am I worth financially? what am I worth to my company? what am I worth to my family? and friends? I guess what I was originally driving at.... is what impact can I have? on people in general, on strangers, on people I'm in no other way really connected to?

For those of you that know me personally, you know I'm a pretty big movie fan. You might also know that sometime, I just kinda like watching movies that will make me a little more emotional than normal. Its easy to explain why really. It just feels good to feel.... something, anything. I'm amazing that in 110 minutes or so, someone can develop a character, outline a life, portray desires, needs, feelings, accomplishments and even tragedies. It amazes me that I can sit on my couch and watch a movie about a character that yesterday I didn't even know existed, that actually isn't even a really person, and end up crying or having feelings of empathy, inspiration, even hate.

I think the one that's been getting me lately is the stories of the unsuspecting hero. You know, the guy who doesn't do much other than be himself but in the process seems to really change the people around him. Alter people's lives, leave his mark in peoples history. It seems like its a theme that comes up in a lot of movies, seems to do pretty well do. They movies get great review, people win awards and the people I talk to about them all say they "totally loved it". Which to most of us means we know the person we're talking to ALSO cried during the movie but doesn't want to just come right out and say it!

The last one I watched is actually called "It's Kind of a Funny Story". Its a story about a kid who winds up in an adult mental hospital and basically without all the long winded kind of emotion details, winds up at the end of the movie really helping people out. It makes me wonder....

Will I ever have the effect on people? Will just being who I normally am everyday actually change any one's live? Has it happened already... am I part of any one's "greatest night EVER" story? Will someone,s kids hear about me from their parents? Have I lost touch with someone who thinks "man, I gotta find that guy, he was awesome.... I wonder what happened to him?

Bottom line, I hope some of those things are true. I hope all the stories people might remember and tell about me are good. Most importantly, I can't shake the feeling that I really hope I do change some one's life for the better. Maybe I really should get back to volunteering somewhere.