Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I hate that you still matter......

Its those little artifacts of past interactions, past relationships, that you think should be gone by now..... but they just keep god damn hangin around!!! I mean, WTF...... when is that place not gonna be "that spot we used to go" anymore? When will the silly terms like "bed water" or "space phone" be flushed from my memory? When are they going to stop being cute and funny? Or, hell..... at least stop reminding me of the place I first heard them!? That'd be nice!

It doesn't seem to be related to the length of the relationship either. I've been in some long term relationships that seem as though they've left no mark, while other short term quick ones seem like they've stuck with me a lot longer. I guess maybe this blog post is a little premature, I need to do some more thinking about it, maybe talk it out more with some friends too. I just find it so odd, and to be really honest, so annoying that I can't seem to exorcise these little demons from my head.

Life has changed a lot for me in the past few weeks. Got involved in the business deal of a lifetime, made some great new friends, got back to taking care of myself.... both physically and mentally. I'm in a great place. I had lost sight for a while of the things that I really valued and what I actually needed to sustain my own levels of personally success and happiness.

The end of 2011 were some of the most stressful, crazy times of my adult life, personally and professionally and I def lost my grip a little. I knew going into it they might be hard and I consciously chose to step a little closer to the edge then I'm comfortable with knowing that the outcome could really benefit me greatly in the future. I hate to admit to being the pompous, arrogant, insanely ambitious, overconfident, and at times ego-maniacal prick that I am sometimes..... but it worked, and in the end, I'm so glad I did it.

So, here I am on at the footsteps of a path that only leads up from here, looking forward to a very positive future and a whole new life on a level I never thought I'd actually reach. However, if I'm starting a whole new life, why the hell does head insist on keeping you around........

I hate that you still matter.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

In with the new... keep the old too!

Deuces 2011! We out!
First of all, Happy New Year.... I know its been a LONG time since my last post. Lets just say, life got a little...... 'complicated' for a while. I decided I really do need to get back to putting my thoughts down in writing and broadcasting my bullshit to the world for most of you to not read. So here goes:

I know its a bit off my usual style, but I wanted to make sure that my first post actually started on a positive note. Normally in most of my blog posts I'm ranting and raving about something I hate, some dumb-ass that pissed me off, one item on an ever-growing list of shit in world surrounding me that I'm truly bored with, pissed at and feel like bitching about.

Soon to come will surely be posts regarding posts very possibly titled: (linked when they happen)
1) I hate that you still matter....
2) Hate the player AND the game!
and of course:
3) Are you stupid, or just stupid?!

Back to the good part now; In with the new... keep the old too! As most of you who know me personally can already tell, I'm a bit of a "friend collector". One of my favorite things of all time to do is meet new people, any and every way I can. Go to party, throw a party, go on a random road trip, be someone's +1 to a wedding or company event and I have to say: Lately, its been some of the best weekends of my life with some of the greatest new people in my life. The crazy part to me is that most of them probably don't even know it.

Its become an annual bash for me, my "Incidental New Years Eve" parties, and this years party with over 230 guests, one of the best DJs in town and at one of my all time favorite restaurants in town was PERFECT. I had people I see everyday there, 2 guys I met the first day I ever moved to DC over 7 years ago, and of course a bunch of new friends I hadn't met until that night! This has been followed up by subsequent weekends filled with birthdays of some of my friends, one of my newest friends, random gatherings of friends from out of town and while I've been dead tired from running around non-stop, it really has managed to pull me from the funk I've been in for weeks.

This past weekend was just the cherry on top I need to finish up getting my ass in gear for 2012. Friday night, after what was a pretty stress typical week in corporate hell, I had the perfect happy hour. With one of my friends who's managed to make that interesting transition from "drinking buddy" to one of my dearest friends. Met her and some of her co-workers out at a place right near my condo tipped back a few too many, met some great new people, relaxed, talked about work, love, families, priorities, money and of course, how the hell we were all gonna get home in the snow!

Saturday night.... now THAT was a night! I had like 8 places to stop by and somehow managed to squeeze in most of them, but will admit I definitely got sucked into one particular group of people! I had a birthday dinner to stop at, an engagement dinner to run through, follow by a PhD graduation celebration and yet ANOTHER birthday gathering at a club in DC. (yeah, I'm a sucker for birthdays) So, I found myself in one dinner, on to the next, in the car.... shot down to K. St. and that's where the proverbial shit hit the fan. Its rare to find a find a group of educated, intelligent, people who can cut loose have a great time. That are captivating, inviting and just totally comfortable to be around. I had been invited to stop in by an old friend (who's def one of the coolest people I know) and intended to make it a quick fly-by, take a few pictures, head out to the other party and be done with it..... but that much fun is hard to walk away from!

The story ends with a camera full of hilarious pictures from full of funny as hell moments, awesome conversation and all around great night with an awesome group of total strangers! Its exactly that type of interaction I needed to remind me that the effort I put in to meeting new people, creating these new relationships and always pursuing the chance to expand my social circle doesn't ever have to slow down. Even when I think I'm getting too old for it, or thinking there's something better I should be doing with my time, get a little lost in my own head...... a night like that is exactly what I needed to slap me back into reality, back into MY reality.

Onwards and upwards this year..... I've got a fake wedding to plan, another damn birthday of my own to get through, and hopefully a ton more awesome people to meet.... see you/meet you all soon!

I love you all, old, new, and even the ones I haven't met yet!


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

New Legislation RE: Shitty Drivers..... and Rain!

Its come to my understand that there is no federal statue preventing uncoordinated, slightly less than intelligent totally discombobulated nitwits from driving in inclement weather. How can this be??

I made is a point to propose new legislation which I have now titled "The Inclement Weather Drivers Certification Act". Normally I'm not one to really bitch and complain to my elected officials.... but now living in DC and feeling the undying need to make a mockery for the entire process.... I submit the follow bill for your consideration. Please feel free to print, sign, and mail to your elected congressional officials, the president, or just the asshole you passed in the parking garage who took 40 minutes to figure out how the fuck to back into a parking space without hitting a pole!

Title: The Inclement Weather Drivers Certification Act
Bill No: 1456223-A

Be It Enacted By Anyone With Anywhere To Go Even When Its Raining

Wheras people at times have the need to get from place to place on days other than those under bright sun and dry conditions. Currently laws preventing morons from entering public roadways between the hours of 8am and 10am as well as 4pm and 6pm on days other than those mentioned above exist only in my head. It is the intent of this proposal to improve the morning commute for all those individuals rightfully possessing a current drivers license, mastery of the fine motor skills required to operate a motor vehicle and a job.

SECTION 1: Let the definition of Inclement Weather include all days not between 55 and 105 degrees Fahrenheit and all days over 80% humidity or with any form of precipitation, including but not limited to: rain, sleet, snow, frozen rain, hail and cats.

SECTION 2: Lets the definition of Drivers include anyone who has proven by a driving authority, DMV, parents, close friend, or crowds at a motor-sports event that he/she posses the ability to pilot an automobile in a stright line down a paved road while staying in the designated lane areas.

SECTION 3: Impose limits on Drivers as defined in SECTION 2 while there is Inclement Weather as defined in SECTION 1.
          Sub-SECTION A: Anyone who has an IQ under 80 may not operate a motor-vehicle on a public roadway.
            Sub-SECTION B: Anyone who can not maintain a speed over 4mph may not operate a motor-vehicle on a public roadway.
           Sub-SECTION C: Anyone on a bicycle, roller-blades, Smart Car, or any form of hybrid of Volvo may not operate a motor-vehicle on a public roadway.

SECTION 4: This bill shall go into effect immediately since I have to get the fuck home after work today and its still god damned raining!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

What am I worth?

There's a pretty huge question? The weird part is, I guess that are a lot of ways to measure it.... what am I worth financially? what am I worth to my company? what am I worth to my family? and friends? I guess what I was originally driving at.... is what impact can I have? on people in general, on strangers, on people I'm in no other way really connected to?

For those of you that know me personally, you know I'm a pretty big movie fan. You might also know that sometime, I just kinda like watching movies that will make me a little more emotional than normal. Its easy to explain why really. It just feels good to feel.... something, anything. I'm amazing that in 110 minutes or so, someone can develop a character, outline a life, portray desires, needs, feelings, accomplishments and even tragedies. It amazes me that I can sit on my couch and watch a movie about a character that yesterday I didn't even know existed, that actually isn't even a really person, and end up crying or having feelings of empathy, inspiration, even hate.

I think the one that's been getting me lately is the stories of the unsuspecting hero. You know, the guy who doesn't do much other than be himself but in the process seems to really change the people around him. Alter people's lives, leave his mark in peoples history. It seems like its a theme that comes up in a lot of movies, seems to do pretty well do. They movies get great review, people win awards and the people I talk to about them all say they "totally loved it". Which to most of us means we know the person we're talking to ALSO cried during the movie but doesn't want to just come right out and say it!

The last one I watched is actually called "It's Kind of a Funny Story". Its a story about a kid who winds up in an adult mental hospital and basically without all the long winded kind of emotion details, winds up at the end of the movie really helping people out. It makes me wonder....

Will I ever have the effect on people? Will just being who I normally am everyday actually change any one's live? Has it happened already... am I part of any one's "greatest night EVER" story? Will someone,s kids hear about me from their parents? Have I lost touch with someone who thinks "man, I gotta find that guy, he was awesome.... I wonder what happened to him?

Bottom line, I hope some of those things are true. I hope all the stories people might remember and tell about me are good. Most importantly, I can't shake the feeling that I really hope I do change some one's life for the better. Maybe I really should get back to volunteering somewhere.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

HEY LADY! My eyes are up here!

Sitting on the metro this morning I kept getting these funny looks from people...... you know, a quick glance followed by an odd grin. I thought maybe something was wrong, my hair, was my fly down.... maybe I had a booger in my nose?

Then all at once I realized they were staring at my chest and instantly I start thinking with humor, you know.... cause I'm a funny guy..... I'm thinking "is this how girls feel? Hmmmm, hey lady, my eyes are up here!" All at once.... the humor ended when I got a high 5 from a dude walking off at his station!

Turns out he really like the red hoodie I was wearing that said in big letters across the front "SUITS SUCK" hahahaha

It was just a few seconds until I realized what I had really done..... on what was otherwise an already suck morning for most people, raining, cold, early morning crammed on a metro car standing there uncomfortably taking their conformist suit wearing bullshit existence to whatever overdressed office they work at to grind out a living doing something they probably wish they could just wear jeans and a t-shirt to do! Hahah

So, just like every other blog post, I end with a quick question...... does this make me an asshole, a slightly offensive comedian or just a guy who doesn't give a shit?

P.S. I know which answer I’d pick! :-p

Monday, September 27, 2010


What is it exactly about the DC Metro area that leads to pretty much of a total lack of intelligence, general slowing of the reflexes and a nearly complete loss of spacial relations and basic motor skills while driving an automobile?! I've decided I'm going to just vent on a regular basis and keep a list of totally ridiculous things shitty drivers in the area do that pisses me off!

1) Stopping at a green light while waiting to make a left turn..... PULL FARTHER UP INTO THE INTERSECTION ASSHOLE!!!!! Give me a god damn fighting chance of making the light!

2) Signaling to turn 3 feet before making a turn! Way to give me some notice fuck-o, how about I come up there a wave to you 2 seconds before punching you in the teeth?!

3) Smart cars

4) Staying in the center lane.... no matter how many other lanes there are. You could be on a highway with 47 lanes both directions in Virgina, and 98.462% of the assholes on the road are all bunched up in the center.... you know, except for the 2 cars in all 46 of the other lanes making it impossible to pass ANYONE!

5) And speaking of passing.... you know, the left lane.... the one on the total opposite side of the road from the right.... ITS CALLED THE PASSING LANE FOR A REASON!!!! If you're not **PASSING** anyone... MOVE OVER!!!!!!

6) Hybrids

7) Campaign stickers nearly 3 administrations AFTER they didn't get elected! Hey asshole, take the sticker off your car, buy a new car, or pick a new fucking set off assholes to support.... but do me a favor, keep your opinions to yourself, I don't need your advice, you obviously pick losers!

8) People who can't merge.... its not called a "pausing lane" nor is it referred to as the "I almost got on ramp" sooooooooo why the fuck are you stopped at the end of it just watching cars fly by like stray dog lost at the end of a runway watching planes take off! Grow some balls, pull up your pants, take the pacifier out of your face and pull the fuck out onto the highway!!

Some people actually drive because they have places to go.... and sure sure, "its the journey, not the destination" and "the ride IS the fun part" yeah yeah yeah, I get it.... I'm a huge road-trip fan.... but I don't get fucking paid to drive to work, I get fucking paid to be there moron.... obviously you don't grasp this concept cause you're still driving the Honda Civic your parents paid for half of when you were 17!
Fuck your Prius, fuck your kids middle school honor roll, fuck the bobble head in your back window, fuck your coexist sticker, fuck your license plate frame with a stupid saying on it, and you know what... fuck you too! Buy a metro ticket and stay off the fuckin road!

(If you've got any great DC idiot driver complaints... you can leave them in the comments section, or send them over to me at and I'll be happy to add them to the list!)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Love vs. The Road to Nowhere

Have you ever followed friends over to somebodies house and left before they did? Next thing you know you're driving in circles for 2 hours running into dead end roads, cul-de-sacs, and on way streets that seem to start from nowhere.

Is love really any different?

Well, maybe..... with love and relationships, your GPS, your On-Star and your smart phone are all utterly fucking useless.... there aren't even any printed maps.

Maybe somebody Google will get there shit together so "Where's my soul-mate?" gives something a little more useful then the nonsensical drivel that it does now! Google THIS!

Sorry for the minor melancholy moment there..... I'm headed out for another Saturday night quest in the futile pursuit for true love.... who's up for a beer or 9?